Clarification

So, I know in my "resolutions" post the other day I mentioned being healthier in 2009. Of course that's a crock of crap and I just plain old want to lose weight. I don't know too many women who don't, so I get that this isn't a unique desire. Once upon a time I felt like I looked good. I thought that I had a nice ass, great boobs, and a decent waist. Now I don't feel so good about myself. I've had lots of stressful times in the past couple of years (long-distance relationship, college graduation, death of my father, unemployment, wedding planning, moving, more unemployment), and during each situation I took worse care of myself and gained a little more weight. My main concern though isn't going to the beach next summer, or what my husband thinks of me, or even stepping on the scale because I don't do that anyway unless I'm at the doctor's office. My main concern is pregnancy. I don't plan (key word: plan) on getting pregnant for another few years, but I absolutely must be in shape for pregnancy. The thought of being one of those fatty pregnant women makes me sick. My good friend Jessica had a baby last year and looked phenomenal through her whole pregnancy. She was one of those girls that if you saw her from behind, you couldn't even tell she was pregnant. On the other hand, I also knew a woman that I just thought was very large. It took someone telling me she was 8 months pregnant for me to even notice the baby. She just had gross rolls all over her. Those are two extremes that most women don't experience, I realize, but still, I want to be a beautiful pregnant woman.

Last summer, Z and I joined the Prattvegas YMCA. It has served its purpose. We have a home gym, but our spare room apparently wasn't insulated and we couldn't use it. So we went to the gym where we could work out in the comfort of air conditioning. But now that we've moved, it takes almost 30 minutes to drive there, and also the monthly fee has gone up a little in the new year. So we are quitting the gym (I'm reminded of a Friends episode) and switching to a combination of using our home gym (which is now conveniently located in a beautiful new home with working A/C) and walking in our neighborhood (we've never lived in a neighborhood before, so walking without the indoor treadmill was dangerous and unlikely). Perhaps I will become svelte, who knows?