"I've Got Some Bad News For You"

That's what my boss told me Wednesday afternoon about a second a half before she said, "We're gonna have to let you go."

That's right, folks. I was laid off.

Sure, I knew times were tough, and I had definitely noticed all the closed-door meetings lately, but I still felt like I'd been slapped in the face. I mean, I've never been laid off before, or fired in any other way. Of course I cried. I cried like a baby. My friend cried too - we were fired together. Isn't that sweet? Just another unprofessional act from my unprofessional boss. She called us both into her office around 4:00 that afternoon. She laid it on thick too - claiming she'd been crying for days and hadn't slept and was so upset. Wow, that sure makes me feel better. She assured me that she did remember that I'd just bought a house, and she's sorry about that.

This came right on the heels of my office cancelling health insurance (thank goodness I'm on Z's plan) and drastically cutting costs in other ways. The expo I'd been working on for the past six months was cancelled the week before, without anyone telling me. If I'd known that, I would have been prepared, but they kept that a secret, letting me continue calling prospective exhibitors, begging them to sign up and pay a deposit.

We came out of her office about 30 minutes later, tear stained and confused. It just all happened so fast. She gave us our final checks and our W-2s, saying she'd pay us one more paycheck and good luck. We went to my cubicle where our co-worker was waiting for us. She's an older (68) lady who was very upset that we both got canned - we were the only people sitting in her department and we'd become friends. She cried with us quite a bit until we were interrupted.

Our boss had come back over to remind us that if we knew of anyone needing the services of the company, please, please, please send them her way. Uh, excuse me, what? Why in the hell would I take the time to usher business to you after you fired me not 5 minutes ago? I swear, that woman is so dense.

By this point it was almost 5:00, and although she told us we could come back the next day to gather our things, I knew I didn't want to return. I hated the job when I had it; I certainly didn't want to go to work after I'd been let go! So I took the time to pack up my pictures, personal office supplies, etc., as well as delete my files from the computer. It took quite a while, so I was about 45 minutes late coming home. Well, since I hated my job, I have never stayed late - not once. I always arrive home by 5:15, so Z was getting concerned. Then I walked in with my face all red and blotchy and he was much more concerned.

After discussing everything, though, we've decided this is really a blessing in disguise. I hated, I mean really hated that job and the office and the work and everything about it, and there's no way I could have quit before lining up another job. However, it's extremely difficult to find a job when you're working 40 hours a week at an office with no privacy. So even though I'm concerned about money (who the hell wouldn't be?) I'm confident that I'll find a place to work that is better (what could be worse?) and maybe - gasp - fulfilling.

I took Thursday completely off, meeting my sister for lunch and taking it easy around the house, letting my semi-scary situation sink in (and, let's be honest, feeling miserable. It was also the 2nd anniversary of my dad's death and I'd planned on taking the day off anyway). Friday I worked on my resume and set up appointments with two different placement agencies, after searching crappy job postings all day long.

Today I got a new haircut and got my wedding rings cleaned - I'm ready to conquer the world.

Take that, HB.