Today was a horrible day...

Today was a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day. I don't know if that's exactly how it goes - whatever.

First of all, last night while Z was in class, I searched for houses in the area. We went to look at about 4 of them today. They all looked too tiny, too close to the road, too stupid, whatever. How crappy that online, the houses look more spacious, but in person you see the yard is the size of 4 sod squares, and the backyard has one giant "workshop" and nothing else.

Anyway, then I get a check in the mail. That doesn't sound too bad, right? Well I was expecting it to be around $500 and it was less than $200. Sucks.

Then the big one. I mean, hold on to your hard hat, Harry. (That was for you, Leslie.) Z had emailed his future boss this morning, but of course got no response. So he called this afternoon, and finally got in touch with him. The long and short of it: the department doesn't have the budget to hire him right now.

Cue dropped jaw.

I'm sorry, what? You pretty much insist we move here asap after graduation, and now you don't have the budget for him? Needless to say I fumed. And cried. And wanted to, well, choke a bitch. I mean, what in the world are we doing here in Prattvegas? We left friends, my job, comfortable environments, our great apartment (cheaper), etc., etc., etc. And we've been here for 3 weeks. And he's telling us Z may not be able to come to work until July, if that? IF THAT?

This simply doesn't register. I cannot comprehend.

Z was pretty worked up too. I mean, this was not news to that guy. He'd been lying to Z for at least weeks. At least. That doesn't bode well for the future. So Z talked to his friend from another department, and the response: that guy was shocked, and very mad on Z's behalf. Apparently he had been lied to as well. Interesting.

When I first moved to T-town, I was unemployed. I had been since my graduation 5 months previous. It was not cool. It actually sucked pretty bad. I cried a lot, felts lots of pressure, and generally hated myself for being such a loser. I hadn't realized how much I did NOT miss that feeling.

The crappiest part - Z can NOT get another job. Hello, studying for the bar IS a job. He studies at least 5 hours during the day, then he goes to night class for 4 hours, and usually studies a little before bed. The only reason he was taking the other job was because they were pretty much paying him to study. As in, it was in their best interest for him to pass the bar on the first go round, so he would be paid a little (about my old salary), he would study all day in a quiet office, and they'd promote him to attorney after the bar. So, other than that, he can't get another job.

The pressure is back on me.

I don't like that. Now I have everyone telling me, call them, see them, apply here, do this, say that. When was the last time these people applied for any job? Usually, when a job description says they want 5-10 years experience in upper-level management, they mean it. I don't have that. Senior editor doesn't mean entry-level. Give me a break. I have freakin' one year's experience, and that's it. I can't name my price, I can't demand anything, I needed to stay at my job where people were literally trying to bribe me to not quit. I hate starting over and groveling. Acting like I'm super excited about any crappy old job. Guess what, I'm not. I want my old job with my old friends. I want to see them and talk to them and go get ice cream with them in the afternoons. I want to work 4 minutes away from my apartment at a flexible job which gave me paid leave for my honeymoon. I want to walk in and have people compliment me, or say they heard so-and-so compliment me. That feels nice, and I don't want to start at the bottom again. I don't want to prove myself again. Worse yet, I don't want to find the place where I have to start over and prove myself again.

Today was a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day.

The end. (why can't I just get published?)