Windows

Today I am thankful because:

1. I am feeling quite calm about the bar results, my test results, the house, everything. It could be because I'm listening to a cd called "Calming Massage" right now, but I think it's also because sometimes you just have to let go. That's very difficult for me to do, but what's done is done, and we can't change it now. When all you can do is wait, you might as well let go. So, we'll either get positive bar results in 8 more days and make an offer on the "lake house" or get not-so-great news and probably make an offer anyway. We've run the numbers based on our current salaries, so we know we can do it either way. So I've let go.

2. Today feels sort of like Friday because tomorrow we're going on a "field trip," if you will. My company is going to tour the Hyundai plant, and we're leaving at lunchtime. Yes, I know that's pretty dorky, but it's better than sitting at my desk all day.

3. This weather calms my mind and makes me a lot less restless. Fall is my season.

4. Z's diplomas are ready to be picked up! I am hoping they look great, and I know he'll be excited to get them hung in his office. (And I'm excited about the prospect of skipping the gym to go get them.)

5. My mother is coming over this weekend to celebrate Z's birthday and see the lake house. (I'm going to quit putting quotations around the lake house, because it's a fitting name, and I'm officially using it to describe that house now.)


Where I grew up, you could be outside or leave all the windows open, and it would still be silent. My mother's house is isolated, on top of a mountain, surrounded by acres and acres of woods. Ever since moving out, opening the windows is a last attempt at comfort. First of all, in dorms and apartments, there is no cross breeze. There are only windows on one side, so what's the point of opening the windows? It doesn't let you breathe in fresh air, and it doesn't provide any relief in the fall and spring months. Instead, the dorm or apartment would just get really loud. One exception was our nice apartment in Tuscaloosa. We were on the 3rd floor, so we usually didn't hear too much noise with our windows open, but then again, that was just a quiet apartment complex. Currently, we live in an apartment with about a hundred kids, and our apartment also backs up to the backyards of a subdivision with kids. Now, I like kids, but I do not like someone else's kids shrieking while jumping on a trampoline about 10 feet from my window. Also, I think I mentioned once before my downstairs neighbors and how they don't realize how loud they are when they're on their porch. At our old apartment, the floors of the porches were concrete. Here, they're slats of wood like a real porch. That means that when those people are on their porch, they might as well be on mine. This is one reason I can't wait to be in a house of our own, and the lake house neighborhood was extremely quiet. We've gone there 3 times to look in the windows (relax – it's vacant – it's a new construction), walk the property lines, etc. Each time we've been there, you hear birds, and… nothing else. Z and I both grew up like that, and it's been a very long time since I've experienced quiet like that. (Remember my next-door hillbillies? I know you do.) I crave a quiet porch swing with a magazine and a gentle breeze. That sounds like heaven. (And if God wants a lake in the backyard, so be it.)