Two nights ago there was a tragedy in Z's hometown where two people he knew were found shot to death inside their house that was on fire. This has caused us both lots of uneasiness, obviously. We learned about it yesterday morning and have been really on edge about break-ins, security, random acts of violence, etc.
Fast forward to last night. We went shopping and got home around 8:30. We watched the Democratic National Convention, I read the paper, etc. We went to bed around 10:15 and everything was normal.
Not 5 minutes after we laid down, the biggest, loudest crash I'd ever heard jarred us both. My body tensed up and I grabbed Z's arm, terrified. I felt like ice water was running through my veins- the noise had clearly happened in our apartment. Quick side note: our next door neighbors have domestic issues. There have been lots of late night fights, shouting and banging, and once they took it outside in front of our door and ripped the cover off the fire extinguisher box during a scuffle. So, honestly, my first thought was that they had somehow come crashing through our dining room wall (Yes, that's how loud it was). I thought he had shoved her, he was drunk, she was bleeding, all kinds of horrible thoughts ran through my mind. The second thought I had was that the man had perhaps shoved the woman down the stairs outside, because the horrible crashing sounds lasted that long too. It's like the noise just would not stop. Z thought it sounded like 2 or 3 people had just knocked the front door in and were tripping and falling over it, while they rushed into the apartment, SWAT-style.
Of course, all of this took place within 10 seconds, and then Z raced over to the bedroom door, slammed it and locked it. In a panic (really, we were both completely panicked) he looked around for something heavy. There wasn't anything. I suggested he just grab the lamp, which is fairly large. But finally I handed him one of the candlesticks which are sort of heavy. Then he tossed me his cell phone with 911 dialed into it and went out to see who was in our apartment.
It turns out that the 10-foot long upper shelf in my closet (the guest room closet) had collapsed with all my clothes (10 feet is a lot of clothes), boxes of Christmas ornaments, extra books, office supplies, magazines, bills, paystubs, thank you notes, extra buttons, socks, extra toilet paper, extra bathroom supplies (lotion, shampoo), etc., etc., etc. (Remember that this apartment is smaller than our last one, and there's practically no storage. So when we moved in and unpacked, we immediately re-packed non-essential items and stacked them in both closets. "My" closet is actually the closet for the guest bedroom, so it is at the other end of the apartment.) Stuff had flown into the hallway, the guest bathroom, the office, everywhere. I guess it probably gave the people living below us a heart attack.
It took us 30 minutes just to pick things up. The shelf had been completely ripped out of the wall (it was not in any studs). There was sheetrock inside all my shoes and all over my clothes. We could not go back to sleep after that for a very long time. It was very frightening.
It made me start thinking about how random crimes do occur, and it is not a silly thing to worry about. It reminded me of a sermon we heard a few weeks ago about making plans without God. You can plan your life out however you wish, but if you're not seeking God's will it's in vain and doing you no good. You have to talk with God when you're making plans, and with my job and our house situation, we have been doing lots of planning and dreaming and wishing. I have not been seeking God's will as often as I was seeking my own desires, and although last night turned out to be nothing, we both honestly believed an intruder was in our home for a few moments, and no matter what, that will seriously scare you.
Once upon a time, I decided to keep a thanksgiving journal where I listed at least 5 things each day that I was thankful for. Somewhere along the way I stopped, but I'm going to pick it up again because I feel like I have been in a very negative place lately and really need to focus on all the good in my life. Z and I are very blessed and fortunate, and we should really be expressing more gratitude. So I'm starting right now.
Today I am thankful:
1. that no burglar was breaking into my apartment last night
2. for the roof over our heads, 2 perfectly capable cars, 2 jobs with benefits and security
3. for our wonderful, loving, generous families who have given us so much support our whole lives, but especially over the past couple of years when we've gone through so many life changes
4. for kind friends who want to keep in touch with us even though we've moved far away from them
5. that, thanks to Z's new job and kick-butt benefits, my monthly prescription is now only $10 (really, coming from my last job which had crappy benefits, that made my day)
Now, a lot of those were generalities, but my self-imposed rules state that I can't list the same things twice, so from now on I will be getting much more specific, like numero uno. I may not blog about it everyday, but at least in my head, I am going to count my blessings and try to stop dwelling on the things that are less than stellar. I encourage you to do the same today and notice how many great things you've been overlooking.
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