Unemployment Breeds Creativity

So I haven't blogged in a month... It's been a whirlwind for me. Quick update: I left my last job with tears and good-bye lunches. I was sad and disappointed. After a week of wishing I could permanently stay home, I got called for a temporary assignment with the same company I'd just left, but in a vastly different department. The job was horrible, the pay was horrible, and the coworkers were horrible. Two weeks later, it was over.

So here I am, unemployed again and being super productive at home. I am on top of all the chores, laundry is done, I feel relaxed that I don't have to drive in rush-hour traffic and come home to a pile of things to do.

During all this transition (there's a word I'm sick of) I have made a decision. Z and I would really love it if I could stay home once we have children. On the other hand, we'd really like to afford things. With all of my career changes lately, we've been thinking about the types of things I could do either once we have children or once the children are school-age. Going back to school for my masters in education was a topic, but I ultimately don't think that's for me. And we'd still have the problem of me working on someone else's schedule.

For a long time now, I have been very interested in photography. I want to learn more and practice more, with a quality camera. I have decided to pursue this now, while searching for a job and ultimately keeping a day job, until I am secure enough to make photography my career - children's portraits, family sessions, weddings, etc. I plan to do it all. Down the line I might even have a studio, who knows? What I do know is that I have been lacking a creative outlet since I left school and don't have opportunities to write (I know, that's what this blog was for...), and I need to be creative. I also need to quit working for companies that don't appreciate me or appropriately compensate me. That isn't to sound snobby, but it's a fact that for the past three years I've been largely underpaid, underappreciated and unhappy in my career choices. There was a brief 5-month window where I loved my job, but with this economy, I couldn't count on that, and I was laid off. I am ready to make success for myself.

I am weighing my options right now on which camera I should purchase. I've been asking photographer friends, researching different brands and styles, and comparing prices. Once I decide on the best I can afford, I will buy it and begin practicing. You'll probably see some of my early attempts at great art here, but I'll eventually start a separate photography blog. I guess we'll see.

Here's to stepping out on a limb, which I pretty much never do. Ever.

I got a puppy... and got laid off

Last Friday was an eventful day. From early morning to late at night it was chock-full of emotion. As soon as I got to work, I was called into my boss’s boss’s office – for most people, this would be scary, but I wasn’t scared because I thought this was a specific meeting I’d been anticipating. I was wrong. She started out with buttering me up and then she said that she wasn’t going to be able to keep me past June 12. If you’ll remember, I was only a temp, but since February I’ve been practically promised a permanent position. Then, just a few weeks ago I was told that although there’s a hiring freeze, they would extend my temp contract until the end of the year. And now I’m gone in 2 weeks? I cried. She cried. It was a total shock. After that news, I spent the rest of the day talking with my work friends (they’re all scared they’re next, and rightly so) and generally wondering what’s going to happen.

My crappy day was about to get a lot better though. That night, Z and I drove to Sylacauga to see some puppies for sale. We went looking for a white lab, but one of the chocolates stole our hearts and we picked him instead. On the way home, we named him Sam. One of my work friends who lives in my neighborhood had offered to loan us a dog house and some toys, etc., until we got prepared. So, she came over to visit with us for a while. After she left, we walked around the block a few times with Sam to tire him out (it was pretty late) and go to bed. Well, as you can imagine, he was awfully lonely in his “pen” and cried quite a bit.

Let me explain. We are going to be using an underground fence once Sam gets a little bigger. We also put up a chain link fence in one corner of the backyard for Sam to sleep and stay safe while he’s a baby. We call it a pen, but it is actually 30’ x 30’ and nicely shaded, etc. So I know the word “pen” sounds awful, but it’s a very nice area, trust me.

Anyway, that night, we knew he would cry all night because he was accustomed to sleeping with 13 roly-poly brothers and sisters and he was obviously lonely. So, we brought him up to the porch and we slept on the chaise lounges all night. Saturday dawned cool and clear – a beautiful day. We took a walk very early waiting for Tractor Supply to open so we could get Sam a collar, leash, food dish, etc. We have a great neighborhood for walking – it’s a quiet, older neighborhood, and it’s on a lake, so it isn’t all blocks but a very lovely view. Later we went to Tractor Supply where we pushed two buggies – one for the merchandise and one for the puppy to sleep in! Sam was a big hit there! Next we went to PetSmart to find “pig ears” (yuck) but he did not like that place – I think there were too many smells. We went home for a while and called around to find a vet because he was due for his first shots. Around 11:00 we found a vet and took Sam for his first visit, where he did very well despite the large, barking dogs in the waiting area. We went home and played with our puppy and ate lunch before taking our cars to get oil changes. We decided to put Sam in his pen during these errands because he’d been napping in the floorboard of the car all morning and we wanted to let him play in the grass. But, we were also very nervous to leave him there alone – he’d never been alone before. We both drove to Wal-Mart, dropped off one car, drove back home, waited 30 minutes, drove back, dropped off the other car, drove back home, waited 30 minutes, drove back and came home with both cars. Whew – Sam seemed to handle it OK.

That evening, our jerk neighbor kids began playing basketball around 10:00 (my mother would have had a fit if I’d done that. When was the last time you listened to someone playing basketball in the dead of the night, right beside the water? That crap is loud!), so we had to bring Sam on the porch because his pen kept getting a basketball bounced against it. Z and I watched Soprano’s while Sam napped on the porch. When the neighbors finally went inside, Z put Sam to bed. A little later, Z fell asleep on the couch (what a long day) and I checked e-mail and the like, listening to the silence. About an hour later, I woke Z up so he could get in the bed and I finally collapsed on the bed, utterly exhausted. Not 5 minutes later, Sam woke up and started crying (not yet able to fully bark) and whining. Trying not to wake Z, I crept out the door to go check on my baby. I went in his pen to sit with him and soothe him. After about 45 minutes he fell asleep at my feet. I literally tip-toed out of the pen and into the house. I slept on the couch for about 2 hours until I heard Sam wake up again and begin to cry. Exhausted, I put my shoes back on and went back outside. Although it was frustrating, it was also heart breaking because I knew he was scared and lonely. I was only outside for a few minutes when Z came out too. We visited with Sam for a while and then decided to tire him out by walking around the neighborhood again. It was about 3:30 a.m.

After that, we tried the pen but Sam was just too sad, so Z slept on the couch while Sam slept on the porch. Our porch is right off of our living room, and all the windows were open, so Sam was OK with that arrangement.

That morning, I told Z he should stay home and rest while I went to church, but I left after the choir sang the anthem. I got home and we ate lunch and played with the puppy for a long time. Z cut grass which didn’t scare Sam at all. Around 6:00 that evening we took our inflatable boat out on the lake with Sam, thinking he’d have fun swimming, as labs love the water. But, as soon as we got out there I got scared wondering if swimming is completely instinctual or if there was a chance he’d sink… the lake was once a rock quarry and it’s unbelievably deep immediately off the shore, so if anybody’s sinking, there’s probably no finding them. So, like a scared mama I held him in the boat and he finally gave up and napped while Z and I paddled around.

After our boat trip, we went on a walk, eventually visiting my friend’s house to let her see how much Sam had grown in 2 days. We finally got home around 8:30 and fed Sam his dinner. (Each time we put him in the pen, we make sure to stay with him, talking, playing, whatever so that he doesn’t associate the pen with sadness or loneliness. We also feed him there so he’ll have something to look forward to when we walk towards the pen.) He was very sleepy, so he settled down immediately and we went inside so we could eat dinner too. We ate around 9:30 and I’ll be damned if at 10:00 those basketball jerks came outside again, slamming the ball into our privacy fence, yelling cuss words and waking up my baby. Sam started his psycho barking (yes, he learned how to bark rather quickly) and digging at the fence line trying to get at the ball. We were completely exhausted, frazzled and livid. I had to go to work the next day – I couldn’t stay up all night with a baby puppy! Furious with those neighbors, we brought Sam up to the porch again and he immediately fell asleep. It was around 11:00, way past my pre-puppy bedtime, and we just wanted to sleep, so Z volunteered to sleep on the couch again rather than risk moving Sam and waking him up. All three of us slept like logs.

Monday morning I got up at 5:00 for work, and went outside where Z was sitting with Sam. We played for a while, and then they went on a walk while I showered and got ready. Thankfully Z had Monday off work except for one mid-morning meeting, so he had almost all day to spend with Sam. When I left for work though, I started crying. My heart was breaking for this little puppy. What had we done? Why did we get a puppy to disrupt our lives when everything was so peaceful? How was I going to make it through the day sleep-deprived and guilty? Would Sam be OK while Z was gone for a few hours?

Z called me at work when he got back home. He said that Sam had been so upset while he was gone that he threw up his breakfast. However, that must have been the breaking point for him because after that, he acted so much calmer. He began entertaining himself with toys in the pen instead of frantically digging under the gate. He took a nap on some ice that Z poured on the porch, he played in the yard with Z. (Sam is also getting much better about not staying right under our feet. He ventures out into the yard without us. In short, my little baby is growing up!)

When I got home from work, I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was in the middle of his pen happily chewing a toy, not barking or crying. Amazing! After a quick trip to Wal-Mart to get him a new toy (now that we know what he likes) we played with him all evening, even letting him swim in the lake a little. After we ate dinner, we went on a very long walk where we visited with a nice neighbor. When we got back we fed Sam his dinner and sat with him for a while. When we went inside around 8:30 he didn’t make one peep.

Z had to leave on business that night, so I was on my own with the puppy. I got out the laptop so I could listen out for Sam and still look for jobs. Even when those mofos started playing ball again (Seriously? What are they, allergic to the sun?), Sam handled it with ease. He certainly woke up, but he just watched them without having an anxiety attack. Around 10:00 the sprinklers came on, and as these are pretty loud and make scary noises, I wasn’t surprised that Sam started crying a little. So, when the sprinklers in the backyard went off and I could walk outside, I went to go visit with him before I went to bed. I just sat with him in his pen, pointing out his water which he sometimes forgets to drink, playing fetch with him (he’s still learning the concept) and petting him. OK, I admit that I also sang lullabies to him, but he liked it! After about 30 minutes I went inside, and he – ready? – slept/stayed quiet until 6:00 this morning!

This morning I did everything to get ready for work except put on work clothes and then I went outside to play with Sam. I was so proud of him! We walked around the neighborhood a little until we saw a very large dog with no leash at which point I picked Sam up and went back home. He had breakfast and then I went inside to change. While I finished getting ready for work he did go psycho for about 10 minutes, but then he must have remembered his manners because by the time I left, he was completely fine! I’m such a proud mama!

End of Birthday Week - End of Marketing

There has been so much going on lately! The lady I've been temping for returned to work last Monday - what an emotional roller coaster that was. I felt like I was losing my job, being demoted, turning into an outcast. For three months I had been praised and complimented on my work. I was even told that I did a better job than the actual employee. And for three months I was told the department was trying to employ me permanently, that they'd make a place for me because I was valuable to them. I hoped and prayed that the woman would decide to stay home full time - that she would quit. I knew I was setting myself up for disappointment, but I hoped it anyway.

Well, she came back and it's been a bit of culture shock. All of a sudden I was being left out of conversations, excluded from meetings, and generally being treated like a temp whose time was up. It was depressing. The good news is that they worked out a deal so that I will stay there but work in the Communications department. Communications is part of Marketing, but a tiny part. There is only the director and her one employee who is an Asst VP. And I'm going to remain a temp - one guess who will get all the bitch work. I'm grateful to remain there, but it's been difficult for me to show my gratitude this past week. Tomorrow is my first official day in Communications.

This past week was my birthday. The day itself was pretty much a normal day except my work friends took me to lunch and my hubby took me to dinner. Other than that, I was waiting for my birthday cookout this weekend. I'd invited my mom and stepdad, brother, sister and her new boyfriend to our house for a cookout. I made Z wait until then to give me his presents.

The cookout was yesterday and it was great. Z cooked a boston butt and everybody else brought food too. I got to show everyone all the hard work we'd done in the yard - plus my sister hadn't even seen my house since the day she helped me paint, before we moved in.

I got lots of great gifts too - right now I'm downloading music onto my new iPod from Z!

I'm kind of dreading tomorrow - just a little.

Job Woes

We can't get a puppy because we shouldn't purchase a fence. My job situation is too uncertain right now. They've been telling me since February that they're going to hire me, but it's one excuse after another. All they can do is extend my temp contract through 7-31. Still no promise of a job after that. So, no puppy.

Almost Puppy Time

Today we've been preparing to finish our fence. We went to Lowe's and Marvin's to price all the pieces we'll need. Then we spent the afternoon clearing brush, smoothing out humps in the yard, etc. I also did housework - laundry, dusting, cleaning the kitchen and bathrooms...

We had our first rose bloom today! It's a red one, but in the rose garden there are many buds, and I think the next one to bloom will be yellow.

Tomorrow is Easter and I'm excited. I have to be at church at 8:10 for choir rehearsal. After singing in both services, I'll be headed to B'ham to Granny's house. (That reminds me, I need to go to the store so I can make my blackberry cobbler...)

We might get a puppy in time for my birthday!

Spring has Sprung in Prattvegas

At the beginning of March, I received the starter for Amish Friendship Bread, a delicious dessert-y bread, from a friend at work. It's a 10-day starter with tons of ingredients and even more calories, but it is goooood. I made it for the first time in early March. Each batch makes 2 loaves, so I decided to keep one for ourselves and give one to some neighbors. While you're preparing the bread, it yields 4 more starters (that you're supposed to give to friends). Z loved the bread so much that I decided to keep all 4 starters and make all the bread to give away to people. So, 10 days later, there I was baking 8 loaves of bread (a total of 6 hours, not including the time I spent driving to the store after round 1 for more cinnamon and flour.) I was able to share bread with lots of people, and it was fun! I only kept 1 starter that night, and I'll bake that tomorrow, just in time to share with Sunday School friends on Sunday.

Last week was my step father's birthday, so Friday night we gathered at a restaurant in Alabaster for dinner. Afterwards we went to my sister's house for presents and dessert. It was very enjoyable - I love my family.

Also last weekend, Z and I put up our privacy fence. Now, we live on the lake and normally love our view (Canadian geese walking around our yard, for an elegant example), but the neighbors whose yard is against our backyard are downright junky. Spare tires, tin-roofed chicken coop, broken toys, etc. Plus, our back porch looks straight into the side of their house, so when we sit on our porch, it looks like we're staring at them. So, we only put a privacy fence on that one border. I know, I know, it could easily be taken as an insult. Believe me, I stewed about this for months. But, I like to think that they appreciate the privacy we gave them, too. So, Saturday morning we borrowed our Sunday School teachers' old truck and went to Lowe's to buy the lumber. While we were checking out, we saw some church friends and their adorable 2-year-old daughter. We invited them to dinner after we were all done working in our respective yards.

Saturday Z started putting up the fence while I painted the wood trim on our storage building and planted flowers. Then our friends came over and we grilled burgers. Their little girl kept us all entertained. She liked "reading" my poetry books, helping me cook french fries, and pretending the tiki torches (for mosquitos) were burning her (she was nowhere near them, but she kept putting her hands over her face and saying, "Ow - it's burning me!')

The next morning we went to church (my first Sunday to sing in the choir) and started in the yard as soon as we ate lunch. We worked on the fence for 7 hours straight, until it was slap-out dark. But we finished it, and it looks great!

Our yard is beginning to look really beautiful. We have jasmine and honeysuckle growing on the arbor, wisteria in the woods, the lawn is greening by the minute, our rose bushes are growing (except the one we had to replace - hey, 1 out of 16's not bad). Our neighbors have gorgeous azaleas that have been blooming for weeks. Our daffodils are wonderful, and although only one tulip is blooming, its bright red bloom is amazing. And did I mention the Canadian geese wandering around the yard all day? Spring is breathtaking, really.

Blog Explosion

Wow - talk about being a slacker. Of all the millions of things going on in my life this past month or so, blogging has not been one of them. I feel like I haven't had a moment to catch my breath since I've started my new job. Not that I'm complaining, but I certainly have a lot of catching up to do here. Ready? Here we go.

1. I had my first real bonding opportunity with the women from my Sunday School class during the first weekend of Feb when they invited me on their annual retreat. It was in an almost luxury cabin in the woods. We all spent the weekend relaxing, sharing, getting to know one another better, etc. It was very nice to be able to get away for a while and have some girl talk. I've been starved for girlfriends since leaving college and leaving my friends in Tuscaloosa.

2. Now for the main reason I haven't been able to blog about anything. My mentor at work (the woman I'm filling in for during her extended maternity leave) wound up leaving a couple of days earlier than planned and left me flying solo. That's not completely accurate - I have lots of kind and helpful coworkers, but they have their own mountains of work to do. Seriously though, the woman I'm filling in for is in charge of all local and regional marketing, including coordinating grand openings of new branches, in all regions of all of our states, plus assisting with corporate advertising. That's a ton of responsibility, and I love every minute of it. It's beyond stressful, but I freaking love it.

3. Another even that, under normal circumstances, would have warranted its own post is that my friend Candace got married. On Valentine's Day she married her sweetheart in Knoxville. Yes, Knoxville. We wound up spending about 14 hours in the car, I believe, and we missed watching the beautiful bride walk down the aisle. That was extremely upsetting, but it really didn't seem to bother her. (She's not quite as sentimental and all-around sensitive as I am.) The wedding was nice - small, but nice. I could tell that the mother of the bride had put lots of creativity into the event, and I hope the happy couple loved every minute of it. It's totally surreal to imagine her married.

4. I briefly blogged about this already, but on Feb 16 (President's Day - it's awesome to work for a bank and have a spouse who works for the state), we had our new storage building "installed" (it was built on our property, not delivered) and Z and I built our porch swing frame with an arbor around it. It was cooooooold that morning, and we were out in the backyard pounding raildroad stakes into 4x4s. Talk about sturdy. The next weekend we created a rose garden in our backyard. Along with 16 rose bushes, it contins an iron, decorative hanging plant stand which holds 4 hanging plants, 2 birdfeedsers, and the most gorgeous stained bird bath you've ever seen. Even though the roses are nowhere near blooming yet, our backyard looks so much better! (The product of two people raised in the country and cooped up in dorms and apartments for the past 6 years.)

5. Of course during the last weekend of Feb we had tornadoes and snow like just about everyone else in AL, but Z and I also had a lovely visit to Hoover that weekend to shop for work clothes at the Galleria and meet some family for dinner at the Fish Market Restaurant. Since we live about 2 hours away from just about everyone now, we have to grab those little moments when we can - and it was a very fun evening.

6. On March 2, my beloved Granny (no really - she's the world's greatest Granny) had hip replacement surgery. She had the other hip done about 15 years ago. After that surgery, she developed a blood clot and had to stay in the hospital for weeeeeeeeks. This time, though, everything went very well and she's already been home for several days now.

7. My mom's side of the family is quite musical. Most of us sing, and many of us (but not me) play at least one instrument. I grew up singing in children's choir at church and then went on to audition for and perform in my high school's concert choir. Now, our high school didn't have the best athletics and our football program always sucked, but our marching band and concert choir were at least state-renowned. Anyway, I haven't been part of a choir in a long time. For the past month or two, though, I've noticed that during hymns at church, the choir director is noticing me. Eventually he introduced himself after church one day and said that he could tell I sing (whatever that means - is everyone else not even moving their lips? I don't know.) He originally asked me to join the choir over a month ago, and I really intended to being going to Wed night practice, but for about 4 Wednesdays in a row, I swear, we were either having tornadoes or I got stuck in terrible traffice (my commute is pretty bad now). But last Wed, I finally went to practice, and I really enjoyed it! Yes, it was hard to rush home, rush to get dinner on the table, and rush out the door, but it was lots of fun, and I figure these things will be a lot harder when we have children, so I better live it up now. Anyway, it was a good release.

8. I received the starter for some Amish friendship bread several days ago, and it finally came time to bake it last Sunday night. It was pretty freaking delicious, and instead of giving away any of the starter this time, I kept all 4 portions, which makes two loaves each. I plan on making friends with the neighbors, finally, and letting Z butter up some coworkers. Eventually I'll have to kill the starter, though, because it multiplies and I don't have time to bake tons of bread all the time, even though it is amazing.

9. This past weekend, my great friend and her family hosted their annual spring-time get together - their Daffodil Party. It's an evening in their beautifully landscaped gardens visiting with old friends and celebrating spring's arrival. It's pretty wonderful.

10. We finally bought a lawnmower last week. Sat morning, before we left for the party, Z mowed the lawn for the first time as a homeowner.

11. I stayed home "sick" today. I didn't feel quite so bad as I just didn't feel too good. And I'm freaking exhausted (see #2 for explanation), so I looked at it as a mental health day, necessary for me to remain a good employee. It turns out, I'm even more appreciated than I thought. Even though my manager has told me that he is working with HR to make me a real employee, I was still surprised that he called me this morning after learning that I was home sick. He said that he panicked and had to cancel meetings that I was to head up because I've done such a good job in taking over the responsibilities that he has no idea how to cover for me. He told me how necessary I am and that he called HR and told them to fast track the process! That made me feel pretty great.